The Time I Caught a Mild Case of Isekaitis
by Housecarl of Sahra
Summary: It happens to everyone they say, but I was only a week from "retirement" and hadn't experienced it yet. It wasn't too good to be true. It wasn't. - Rated T for Truly-stupid.
1. Chapter 1

"-And at eleven, we have the continuing story of Maria Franks. A twenty-five year old college student who was displaced into the world of Dead Sp-" I had to flip the channel away from the news. My mind just couldn't handle more horror stories like that.

Literal horror stories, even. Displacement was an occurrence that happened all the time to people around the world, but the most at-risk were teenagers and young adults in their twenties. It was just how the world worked. One moment, someone was right next to you talking about the latest video game or how the sports-ball team was doing. Then, _poof_! They're off in some other world with the only connection anyone has to them being a blog, a website, or, if they're popular enough, they show up on the news. Most of them eventually come back, but it was kind of a crapshoot whether they did or not. And, while everyone else can stay up to date on what _they_ are doing, they almost never have a way to hear from their friends and family. I used to watch and keep up on their stories all the time, but as I got into my own late-teenage years, I got more and more worried for myself.

But! I was almost out of the proverbial minefield, as it were. My thirtieth birthday was six days away. Granted, I _could_ get displaced at any point in my life, but the chances of it happening after were incredibly low. It was pretty widely agreed that if you made it to thirty, you were in the clear.

It was with all that in mind that I had been a complete hermit for the past month. I had taken all of my remaining vacation time at work, and my boss was pretty cool about it. His own displacement probably worked in my favor. He always said that his had its ups and downs, but that it was also a uniquely life altering event that he wouldn't have traded for the world.

Ridiculous.

Before I took my vacation time, he told me not to worry about where I might get sent. That we all go where we need to be. Whether that was to help a world in trouble be a little brighter, or to get help from that world for ourselves.

Well, I wasn't as religious as he was. It sounded nice, but then you hear of someone who got sent to Lovecraft-central. Really? What good could come from that?

As for my personal life: Also hermit-i-fied. I had my maybe-future girlfriend over for a movie a week and a half ago, and it went… well? There was the movie, and we talked, and I made her dinner. I thought it had been a nice second-date that only went to one person's living room.

On the way to my kitchen, my apartment's doorbell rang. That must've been the package I ordered, since I hadn't left my home for anything in three weeks. In the doorway was, indeed, a mailman carrying a moderately-sized cardboard box. I signed and took it, relocking the door afterwards.

The living room/kitchen area of my apartment was plenty big enough for me. I had a loveseat in front of the wall-mounted television, a small desk and computer, a bookshelf of plushies, a couple of windows, some empty space, and the kitchen had enough of the important kitchen-things. It was all covered in a beige carpet and some stock light-blue wallpaper.

I made my way to the desk and opened the box up to reveal a large brown and white quadruped plushie. A smile made its way to my face as I inspected the eevee doll. Nearly twenty other Pokémon plushies were already on my bookshelf, and I was glad that the latest was of high enough quality to join the OG.

Which would be _Original Generation_ for anyone without enough nerd-cred to already know.

I had considered buying _all_ the pokémon dolls, but my job didn't provide quite that well. At least, not in the amount of time since I had started collecting. Maybe one day.

My eyes narrowed. Next to the official copyright and date manufactured tag was another. One that added nothing, and sat jarringly against the small, official tag. All it read was: Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law.

My mouth joined the scrunch that my eyes were already doing.

One precision scissoring later, I had the lone eevee for my bookshelf looking presentable.

It was also around that time that I noticed the windows to what should've been a normal city outside were showing technicolor vomit.

"No!" I whipped my head back to the eevee doll still on my desk. Was it smirking at me? "You little jerk, you were a trap!"

Plenty of the displaced have described their displacement. It was always some form of the world falling apart around them… I knew I didn't have much time.

With some fast clicking and typing in front of my computer, I left a message for my friends and family. They'd drop by in a few days at most. I may have walled myself off, but I still talked to them online every day.

What could have been my last will and testament read:

**Mom, Dad, Deborah, I love you guys but it looks like it's my time. I wish I could remember more of from stories of your own displacement you both told me and Debbie as we were growing up. I've been worrying about this day for years and I hope I see you soon.**

The seizure inducing tornado of pastel outside my window was taking its sweet time. Not that I was complaining, though. My impending displacement didn't exactly make me feel better, but I was able to think a bit clearer after a moment. Still, I tapped my finger rapidly on the desk, trying to think of any other issues I needed to tend to.

**Tell my friends that I'll be thinking of them.**

There wasn't a whole lot going on for me at the time, what with my self-imposed exile.

**And, Elizabeth too.**

May as well backspace that, we had gone on two dates. I was pretty sure we both enjoyed them, but she wasn't likely to wait around who-knows-how-long for me to get back.

I hummed and looked at the window proper. It was taking much longer than I expected. The anticipation had kind of wore off, and I leaned back in my chair. Outside was the same spray of colors, like a unicorn had gotten a really bad stomach virus.

**Oh, and to Debbie. If you ****_borrow_**** my new laptop while I'm gone, I ****_will _****know.**

I scratched behind my ear, when I realized something. How did the displaced even get their story back to our world? "So, is there suppo-"

-Author's Note

Thankfully for our protagonist, magical word genies such as myself exist to ensure these stories aren't lost to the void.


	2. Chapter 2

"-d to be a…" With a pop, I had gone from sitting in my desk chair to… doing something-like-sitting in a grassy field covered in huge yellow flowers.

Scratch that. I was in a grassy field with normal sized gentians. It was just that I was tiny, compared to the big yellow flowers.

My eyes shut and I sucked in a breath through my nose. Transformation wasn't unusual for the displaced, but I had been hoping that I would have at least been in the majority that kept their body. "Dang it."

Well, there was no more putting it off. I was displaced. Time to see what I was working with.

I angled my head down and reopened my eyes to see a blurry muzzle that, no matter how much I crossed my eyes, still looked fuzzy. Beneath that was a ring of white hair around my neck and a single pair of brown legs- Holy crap, I didn't even have four limbs anymore!

No wait, false alarm. I was a quadruped. That was what felt off about how I was sitting, my new hind legs were underneath me and the only thing I could really see of my body was a bushy tail laying on the ground. Everything else was more-or-less hidden behind the white fluff on my neck.

"Oh-my-gosh-Sylvie-an-eevee!" There was movement on my head, and my ears cocked up at the sound before my eyes did. But yes, random little girl, that's what I was now–

–There was something flying at my face.

I yelped at the impact, and couldn't exactly say _what_ happened for the next few seconds. After the fact, I had a guess, though. _Pretty sure_ that girl had chucked a pokéball at me.

Not softly, either. Of that part, I was certain.

There had been a few seconds of adrenaline fueled struggling, but I saw the world as it was soon enough. The girl turned out to be not quite as young as I thought. I had mostly based that guess on the high-pitched squeal she had made. She was too tall to be child, had long brown hair, and wore a big red skirt with a black shirt and leggings. My new guess was that she was in her mid-teens or so.

"_Eev_ move, girl. _Eev_ move." I blinked. What did I just say? Because that didn't sound right.

"Of course. Stupid, Yvonne, stupid! Sylvie, Sand Attack before this one can run!" An eevee much like my-new-self sprinted from behind the young woman's legs, and broke my concentration on what I was thinking of. I could see fire and determination in the newcomer's eyes.

There was a fair amount of distance between us, and I was no idiot. I had played plenty of Pokémon games, and, while they never went into exactly how a move was performed, I could apply common sense. This little brown jerk was throw, kick, or sweep dirt into my eyes in some way.

The other eevee– Sylvie was it? –stopped and turned a foot or so away, readied a back leg to kick. Which is when I put my genius plan into action.

I closed my eyes! "Ha! What do you think–" My gloating devolved into hacking and spitting at that point.

Cracking my eyes, I glared at the opposing eevee who had faced me and stepped up right in front of my muzzle. There was a yell from the sidelines. "Again!"

There was a moment shared between us two furred rodents. One of, almost, understanding.

"Nothing personal?" She, I assumed from the tone and name, said. Then rubbed a paw covered in dirt in my eyes.

I reeled back. "You are The Worst! Capital tee, capital double-you!"

So, I bit her.

It turned out that I had gotten ahold of her ear, and she latched onto one of my forelegs as we fought on the ground. I take pride in saying that she yelped louder than I did in those few seconds. I would've had more sympathy, but… it was _nothing personal_, after all.

"Sylvie!" The woman made some worried stammering noises, then called out another instruction. "Baby-Doll Eyes?"

Really? After that distraction, I turned my attention back to the eevee that had managed to roll over on top of me for the moment.

Eevee weren't exactly my favorite Pokémon. They were popular and cute, but didn't have the most balanced of stats. It made a lot of them hard to use in the games, but that didn't mean I hated them either. She angled her head up towards mine, and… it was a truly soulful look from Sylvie's face. Ears laid down, eyes creased at the sides, nose scrunched, my paw painfully between her fangs.

I returned to giving her a nice ear-piercing.

With some kicking and wiggling, I was able to get us on our sides. However, that must've been what the trainer was waiting for, because I felt something smack into my back and the known world was gone again.

That time, I got a better impression of what happened and was sure it was a pokéball that hit me. Things kind of felt like I had stuck my tongue to a battery. Except, all over my body. I had a sort-of-sense for what was around the ball, but it was vague. I knew we had been in a grassy meadow with Sylvie and her trainer, but maybe my memory was placing all that in a projection in my head since it didn't feel like sight.

I gave it the old college try, but as it was said in all the game tutorials: I was a pokémon weakened by battle, and could be caught.

Well…

Dang it.


	3. Chapter 3

"Welcome to the team, Fireball. I'm Yvonne, and this is Sylvie." Sitting in front of the young woman crouched on the roadside, I was nonplussed. My fellow eevee looked at me with a cautiously optimistic smile, while Yvonne had an overly optimistic one.

Yvonne had taken an unknown amount of time to look after Sylvie's ear, then a little bit to bandage my own leg. Since there was no wrappings on the other eevee, I had to assume she got the magic healing potions while I had cloth and antiseptic.

Apparently mild antiseptic, though, considering the very dull sting. So, at least there wasn't much of an annoyance there. Did that have a higher risk of being infected, then?

Either way, I hadn't been in much shape to go for round two when Yvonne broke out the gauze. That, and I was pretty sure she'd just ball me if I bit her or tried to run. I liked walking around for myself more than I liked the taste of human flesh, so I could play along with the whole trainer/pokémon deal.

On the up side, I shouldn't have to worry about room and board, which tended to be a big obstacle for recently displaced. Now that I was calming down from the impromptu fight? Being part of a trainer team might not be that bad. Definitely better than hunting for food, since I was about as good of an outdoorsman as the average houseplant was.

Raising an eyebrow at the nickname turned into tilting one of my ears downward while the other stood up. Fireball? Really?

I was pretty sure I could guess what she had in mind for me. The thing was, I was probably more offended by her making the decision for me, rather than being expected to evolve into a flareon. They were kinda… bottom of the barrel… when it came to pure game mechanics, but that wasn't the big thing for me.

Breathing fire and being warm and fluffy sounded great, but how closely would I be tied to the game? I had no way of knowing, so, I wanted to make an informed decision. But, more importantly, _I_ wanted to be the one to make the decision.

It was around then that I noticed a growing high-pitched sound coming from Yvonne's grit teeth. The rising of her cheeks and crinkling at the edges of her eyes gave me another clue as to what was about to happen. "No." I warned her, in vain. Yvonne had already started moving to scoop me up off the ground to nuzzle.

"Oh, I can't believe I was so lucky to find another eevee so soon!" She spun around on the dirt road in one quick twirl, turned me to face Sylvie, and held me close to her chest. "Isn't he adorable, Sylvie?"

We stared between each other, and I was quicker on the uptake. "Go ahead. _Say_ it. I'll get you a _set_ of earrings to match Yvonne's."

It didn't seem to intimidate her, since Sylvie smiled towards us. "You are, though. Handsome enough, too." Maybe it was wishful thinking, but her tone and smile didn't seem completely patronizing or smug. _Almost_ like she hadn't said it just to get on my nerves.

But get on my nerves, she did! "You're funny. I'll _vee_ you last." I muttered that quietly, and was probably droned out thanks to Yvonne's hopping and squealing.

Okay, that was the second time that had happened. I admit that had mostly just been a movie reference in the face of having little control over the situation, but something about it bugged me.

I whispered and listened closely. "_Eevee._" I couldn't curse! "_Vee_." Or even say anything mildly offensive. It came out as… what was that called in the anime? Pokéspeak?

"You're going to love it here with me, Fireball. I've been researching and preparing to be the best eevee trainer in Kalos, and–" Flipping me back around in her arms, she held me out in front of her. All the movement was making me nauseous. "–_you_ are my first catch!"

"Please set me down."

Yvonne hummed in confusion. "Is something wrong?" After a moment of looking at me, she spoke again. "Still hurt after that battle?" It may not have been intentional, but she followed my request and put me back on the ground where I could take a few good breaths and feel less motion sick.

She rummaged around in her pack while Sylvie stepped closer to us. "In case you don't know, she can't understand what we're saying. None of the humans can, but she does pretty well with me. Maybe you, too, since she's read basically everything there is about our species."

"Okay, here it is. One Oran berry, guaranteed to ease aches and pains in all the pokés of the world." Yvonne was holding a blue berry out for me to take… eat? Eat out of her hand? I wasn't sure which, but I was fairly certain I couldn't pick it up with anything other than my mouth.

I took it with my teeth and sat back on my hind legs to try to eat it like some kind of mutant chipmunk. Holding it between my forelegs worked, but keeping my balance didn't and I fell over.

My lack of coordination pleased Yvonne, but Sylvie struggled to make words. "P-Please don't embarrass our entire species just to get on her good side."

I rolled onto my stomach and blew out a breath of air. "Well, what am I supposed to do? Eat off the ground?"

"You're a wildling, aren't you? What problem could you possibly have with some dirt? Don't you, like, live in a hole you dug in the ground?" There we get to the first rule of the displaced. Don't tell people you're from another dimension. Unless they have figured it out on their own, just don't.

Wow. That was written by my boss, and yet I still remembered it on papers all over the office. Well, most of those rules made sense, if I was honest. He was a part-time preacher for the displaced faith, so I guess he _had_ to be charismatic and memorable.

I turned my head away from Sylvie and took a bite from the top of the berry from its place in the grass. "Or are you a runaway? You could've eaten from her hand, then. She loves you to bits already." There was a gasp from her direction. "Oh, was your last trainer mean? I'm so sorry!"

And she sounded apologetic, but _mean_? Was she imagining I had an abusive past, albeit in a kid-friendly way?

Well, thankfully for me, there was an amendment to rule one. _Try_ not to lie too much, though. "No, nothing like that. I guess I just expected being a trainer pokémon to be more refined." Internally, I sighed at the stupid that was about to come out of my mouth to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. "Like, blankets to lay on all the time, and food from silver dishes… and, uh…" Luckily, I didn't need to grasp for another dumb thing to say, because Sylvie burst out laughing.

"You might want to lower the bar a bit! Yvonne is great, but she's not some rich girl that's going to pamper you day and night."

Looking over to the comparable-giant, she was holding a brush in one hand and a small camera in another. There was the distinct impression that she was just waiting for me to finish eating before she pounced.

I turned back to Sylvie and waited for her to speak. "Okay, but she's not some rich girl."


	4. Chapter 4

The feeling that I had was right. Yvonne had a horrible weakness for small fuzzy things, apparently, and just had to coo at them. My guess was that she was at least partially adjusted to Sylvie, but she had just found me and I still had that new-eevee-smell.

The afternoon hours were spent with my new traveling companions eating a late lunch. Yvonne said that they had been searching for other eevee for much longer than she thought. We sat down on a, to my great smugness, picnic blanket that Yvonne had folded up in her bag. Sadly, there were no silver plates that they ate from, but I think Sylvie got my point even without them.

I spoke to my fellow eevee, but motioned my head in Yvonne's direction. "So, did she name you?"

Looking up from the swirly cupcake-thing that she was trying to choke down, Sylvie seemed grateful for the distraction. "Yeah, Yvonne and her family named me when I hatched." She glanced at the cupcake again, but kept talking. "That was when she was a lot littler, though. I've been sort of a household pokémon until a few weeks ago."

Seemed like Yvonne and her folks had plans for Sylvie's future for a while, as well. Especially with a name like that. Maybe I shouldn't judge? I couldn't exactly think up a better name off the top of my head.

I hummed. "What can I expect from this little arrangement with Yvonne, then?" As an unforeseen payoff of making myself out to be an idiot earlier, I was able to ask that and expect an honest answer.

"Oh, being a trainer pokémon is great! See new people, foods, places, and do all kinds of exciting things while you're there." That was the kind of enthusiasm that was inspiring.

Yvonne broke our conversation. "Okay guys, I hate to- Oh? Sylvie, finish your puff. They're good for you and they'll make your coat all soft and silky." She spoke with a smile, before standing up to stretch.

"You don't want to eat that, do you?" It had to be said.

"O-Of course I do! They're sugary and frosted and… some of them are mint flavored." One of her eyes twitched.

"Could you say that again without sounding like you threw up in your mouth a little?"

That made Sylvie shove her face down around the little cupcake, eating the rest of it in one bite. "I _like_ 'efe caufe Yvonne wanf me to be a pre''y li'le fylveon-" With a hard gulp, she swallowed the food in her mouth. "-and I will be!"

Alright, guess that was the end of that.

Still, I liked mint.

Sylvie walked off to go brood. Or maybe sulk was more accurate, I had a strong feeling the world I had been displaced to was E-rated. Maybe even more so than the games already were. Either way, she went off to some of the taller flowers while I strode up to Yvonne and bumped her arm. She had been gathering up the leftovers when I interrupted.

Knowing that I couldn't really speak to her, I spared her the random eevee-sounds and just tried to mime what I wanted. Opening my mouth, I made an exaggerated chewing motion and nodded in Sylvie's direction.

When that failed, I looked pitifully at an extra half of a sandwich Yvonne hadn't finished, then up to her.

That did it. She practically collapsed towards me in a pile of wanting-to-make-everything-better.

It was at that point that I realized that I had great power over Yvonne. That I should use that power responsibly. That I shouldn't take advantage of her soft spot for cute things.

I was going to abuse the crap out of it, though, wasn't I?


	5. Chapter 5

Yvonne wasn't as weak willed as I first guessed. She seemed to fall over herself for me, but the little french cupcake she offered me came with a price. It was a promise that it would be time for training right after.

Well, it was probably a good deal. If she baked that puff herself, she was a good cook. If she had bought it, she had good taste.

In addition, it tied in well with rule number two for the displaced: If you've been transformed, figure out what your new body could do and what it needed to survive.

I could apparently live off of berries and pastries, so half of that was done already. And so, over the next few hours, I jumped, ran, and flailed wildly at empty air in one of the greatest training montages of all time. If I did say so myself.

In that time, Yvonne was calling out things for me to do. So, there was at least some trainer/pokémon instruction going on. And… thinking on it? She really did know what she was talking about. Back when she first spotted me, she may have thrown a ball in overexcitement, but her next plan had been to blind me so I couldn't see to get away.

I had to put some effort into remembering, but… eevee abilities did include one that gave you a one hundred percent chance to escape from a random battle. I still didn't know how _on-rails_ I was for game mechanics, but, even if I was in an ultra-realistic Pokémon world, that kind of trait had to come from something grounded in realism. I thought of myself as a pretty good trainer when it came to playing the games, and there was a part of me that chafed at following someone else's commands. However, Yvonne was proving herself to be someone worth hearing out, at the very least.

Sylvie was out and walked with us as well, and she was the one Yvonne called for to handle the ill-tempered locals. Snubull, golett, a couple electrike, and I think there was even a poorly thought out attack from an emolga. Some magic healing spray and words of encouragement were Sylvie's rewards, while I just got the encouragement.

We did this for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening before seeing a town on the southern horizon. It was south, as I knew it. What were the chances that the sun set in a direction other than west in Pokémon World?

It was a fairly small town with a stone bridge on the north side, the ocean to the west, and some rocky bluffs east. There were grey stone bricking and blue shingled roofs on most of the houses, the big reflective top and red trim of the pokémon center being one of the only outliers. Yvonne spoke up with as reserved a smile as I had seen from her. "Welcome to my home, Fireball. Cyllage. We can't stay long, though."

"Not bad memories, I hope?"

Sylvie shook her head and started to speak, but Yvonne cut her off. "Oh, don't sound so down. We'll be here for a long time, come autumn." She smiled sweetly, and made a tempting offer. "If you stick around for more poképuffs, that is."

She knew! "Curse my minty weakness."

Sylvie reeled back with her tongue sticking out in disgust.

I couldn't let that slide, though. "There's nothing wrong with mint."

We passed by a house or two, and Yvonne let us just talk amongst ourselves. "It's not the worst flavor, but I can't imagine how you could like it."

"It's clear and refreshing. Plus it clears out your sinuses." I took a large breath in through my nose, as if that proved any point whatsoever.

The faraway look Sylvie sent me from around Yvonne's legs was like she was trying to figure out some deep mystery of the world. Which was fine, I guess I inspired that kind of thing in people. "Are you secretly old as dirt?" Or that. "Because you _seem_ like a young eevee, yet you're talking about old person problems."

"Well, how old are you?" I said, somewhat offended.

"Seven. Now you?" Dang it, she didn't fall for the asking-a-woman-her-age distraction!

And, that was not what I was expecting at all. She didn't talk or sound like a kid, so human aging was out. …Eevee are kind of like foxes, and foxes are kind of like dogs. I had to think in dog years, and quick! "A little past four?"

She gave me a disbelieving look. Maybe I should've said something closer to her age?

"Alright. I'm… older than that."

If anything that made the confusion on her face deeper, and she circled around Yvonne to me. I leaned away when she looked me closely in the eye, then she studied something above me– my ear. She was looking at one of my ears.

She rolled her eyes, and huffed. "You aren't much older than that. You don't smell like it, and the fur in your ears hasn't started darkening yet."

As we walked, I couldn't help but try to see what she might've meant and looked up at her. The outside of Sylvie's ears were brown fur like most of her body, the hearing side had a thin layer of light brown that wrapped around from the back, followed by mostly black hairs, then a small brown diamond in the center. The one closest to me flicked once, then twice.

"Respect your elders and don't stare, you green wildling." She playfully bumped her shoulder into me as we neared the south side of town. Then, continued onto the sandy beach.

"If you say so, _ma'am_."

Sylvie stopped and looked back at me, following me as I kept walking with her gaze. "Oh, you didn't just ma'am me."

Which got Yvonne's attention well enough to question her with a short, "Sylvie?"

Sure, I was being a bit of a knob, but I was too busy having fun annoying Sylvie to stop just because of Yvonne. "Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am-"

And, then. Betrayal. "Oh, never mind. Show him who's boss, Sylvie. But, don't be too rough."


	6. Chapter 6

Rule 5: Don't annoy the locals just for the sake of it. It drastically lowers your chance of survival.

Still, I gave as good as I got.

And, no, it wasn't just sore losers who said that. I really did well for myself considering my handicap of half-a-day's experience as an eevee. What could I say? It was one of the lone perks of being a transformed-displaced. Being sent to a game-based world started them off at least as strong as an appropriate encounter for the area they showed up in.

That, combined with Sylvie's years as a house pokémon and presumably little training or exercise, let me keep up with her.

It begged the question, though. Why was Yvonne still relying solely on my fellow eevee for random battles, if we had about the same capabilities?

There had been no trainer battles for the entire time I was with them. However, there was the occasional wandering pokémon south of town, even if they were pretty scarce. Still, it was always Sylvie who ran them off. Our trainer also didn't think twice about catching any of them. Even a skrelp that had washed up on shore. Yvonne ended up punting her back into the waves.

To be fair, though, the skrelp had been incredibly rude.

The beach-line curved and twisted, and at one point there was an awe inspiring arch of natural rock that branched out over the water. I thought it was particularly beautiful in the dim evening light, and apparently Yvonne did as well when she announced, "I love this spot. There's a place above high tide nearby where we can set up the tent."

Watching Yvonne pitch the tent herself, I was getting to the point where I was feeling useless. Sure, Sylvie couldn't help with that either, but she ran the randos off all day.

We all had a small bite to eat and were off to bed, where Yvonne used me as a hug-pillow. At least I could do that, apparently. Try as I might, I could only get comfortable once she had rolled onto her side.

Unfortunately, it was around then that I heard it. A guttural sound that shook the tent flaps.

One of them snored.

And it wasn't a little snore. Like what might come from a tiny eevee throat.

There were two short grunts of poor sleep, and I found that I had been corrected.

Both of them snored.

The much louder throat scraping sound from Yvonne belted back, like a larger predator defending its territory only to have the smaller noises from Sylvie snort out more frequently. I lost track of how long that went on for. There was no end in sight. The beauty of the coastal night through the transparent tent roof could only distract me so much.

In the end, I think I went temporarily insane as the dueling larynxes eventually sounded like music. Harsh and awful music, but music nonetheless. Something close to a garage band who were well known around their neighborhood, just if, instead of play music, the band all decided to poke a trapped pig with a sharp stick repeatedly. But, I was able to lull/trick myself to sleep.

In comparison to what I fell asleep to, my wakeup call was divine. It was only some constant pressure of Yvonne half-laying on me. I was able to crawl out from under her arm easily enough, and, as I looked at her, I had to wonder how she managed to sleep at all.

It was gracelessness given physical form. One knee bent up to her midsection, the other leg almost straight, one arm above her head, and the other curled around where I had been. To top it all off, Sylvie lay across the half of her face that wasn't buried in a pillow.

Similar to the natural wonder just outside the tent, it was awe inspiring. Except in all the wrong ways. Yvonne couldn't be getting any oxygen…

I pushed against the side of her stomach. No response.

Humming, I walked up to Yvonne's head and Sylvie. Taking a bite of the long fur around Sylvie's neck, I dragged her off our poor trainer. Almost as one unit, both sleepers groaned and reacted. Sylvie pawed at Yvonne's face in what I assumed was an attempt to grab a hold of her. More confusingly, Yvonne, herself, did much the same and picked the other eevee out of my grasp to put her back where she was.

I blinked a couple of times, but quickly decided I didn't have nearly enough coffee or alcohol to deal with that.


	7. Chapter 7

My traveling companions eventually stopped sawing logs in the little blue and grey tent and joined me out by the remains of the campfire. With some distance from them, the snoring was actually too bad. I conceded that it was only when the sound came from directly above my ears that it really got to me.

"Sleep well?" I asked, in their direction.

"Good morning, Fireball." With a stretch, Yvonne clambered out of the tent and reached upward. "A morning 'mon, are you?"

"You could say that." I responded in the blandest way I could manage in an effort to get my point across the language barrier.

It partially worked. "Oh, don't be so grumpy, today's going to be a great day!"

At least Sylvie wasn't as chipper as our trainer. "You really shouldn't be like that to her when she can't even defend herself properly." The other eevee yawned hugely, and zombie-walked over to the edge of the coals to lay back down. "If you were looking for an actual conversation, though. Yeah, we slept well. Bit of an odd dream where I was a dragon princess, but someone was trying to carry me away from my hoard."

Yvonne got the fire going again while I struggled to follow up on what Sylvie said. "Well… you know what they say about dragon princesses."

"…No?" With a couple of blinks to get the brain going, Sylvie continued, "Sorry if I'm half asleep, but where are you going with this?"

Where _was_ I going with that?

I blamed the sleep deprivation.

"Hey, Fireball. I know I shouldn't spoil breakfast like this, but, as a new member of the team, I got you a gift." Thank you, Yvonne, you've saved me from myself. She held out a moderately-sized piece of what looked like hard candy. It was kind of orange-colored, and see-through like a Jolly Rancher. "It's like candy, you just put it on the back of your tongue and it dissolves! Or you can swallow it whole, the person I got it from said that it makes you feel really warm like that."

She sweetly offered it to me, but I was an adult and more in the mood for real food. I shook my head and hoped that non-verbal communication was universal.

"No? Okay then." She blinked a few times. "What would you both like for breakfast?"

I reflexively said, "_Eevee_ and _vee_, breakfast of ch-…" My jaw dropped, because it was right about then that I heard it. My bacon and eggs had been censored.

Sylvie simply asked _what_, while Yvonne talked over her. "I can't say that I know how to cook-" She made a pair of yipping noises that I guessed must've been what Sylvie and myself sounded like. "But, how about…"

I stopped paying attention, because I had _much bigger problems_! Why would bacon and eggs be sacrilege to the world I was in- _Yvonne and her family named me when I __hatched__._ Sylvie's voice floated to me in a memory.

Whispering, I simply tried to deny it. "No." Bacon getting the axe was probably because of all the pig-pokémon, too! "No, no."

"Hey, you alright?" That was Sylvie, our trainer was busy tending to a pan of dough set up over the fire.

I stared into the crackling fire. "Just… just realizing I may have lost something that I thought to be timeless."

"Really, now?"

"Pretend, for a moment, that the greatest thing in your life- No, the objectively greatest-thing-in-the-world was suddenly gone. Stripped away. Didn't exist anymore."

I didn't look to her, but Sylvie was giving the loss of my world's top breakfast food the weight and seriousness it deserved. She hummed. "If I thought it was the _objectively greatest-thing-in-the-world_, I would have to question whether I had an unhealthy fixation, or not."

That caused me to look at her in pain. How could she say such a thing? "If _eevee_ and _vee_ are wrong, I don't want to live in a world that's right." Except that I was doing just that. I let out a shuddering gasp.

"Ah, come here little wildling." Sylvie scooted a bit closer to me. "You can cry on my withers. Just, try to stop saying words like that. They're hard on the ears."

I am not ashamed to say that I cried for the loss of greatness. My own loss, as well as the loss that the world I was in suffered every day. They didn't even know what they were missing out on…


	8. Chapter 8

"Breakfast is ready!" Yvonne's cheerful attitude broke through the somber atmosphere. My respects had been given in the time it took for the bread to finish rising, and I had simply lain down beside Sylvie.

I had been on a roller coaster of how I felt towards my displacement. I always thought it would be a completely terrible experience, before it happened. Yvonne calling out simple eevee-moves showed me that there _was_ fun to be had. Then, there was the loss of one of my favorite foods for an unknown amount of time.

It was rough, but Sylvie helped me to see a harsh truth.

Soon enough, Yvonne had a paper towel full of rolls set down in front of me, and more of those puffs for Sylvie. I looked around for the pan that was used to cook the bread, because I thought Yvonne had been using a flat one. It must've been packed away already and I shrugged it off. The rolls were warm, appropriately flaky, and overall good as far as simple bread went. One near the bottom even almost chipped a tooth.

That one wasn't so great, though.

Quickly spitting that roll out, I saw it was mostly a translucent yellow and orange rock. Yvonne apparently had been paying attention to me, because it didn't take much staring before she laughed nervously and spoke. "Oh, silly me! How'd that get in there?" She gave me a scratch behind the ear and picked up the gem. "Thanks for finding that for me, Fireball."

"I don't buy that for a second." Yvonne ignored my tone, then went about wiping off the rock and slipping it back into her bag.

Sylvie looked up from her puffy treats. "You know, you could just eat your firestone next time. Flareon might not be the quickest or toughest of the eeveelutions, but they're easily the strongest. Plus, you can breathe fire!"

She had me there. Fire-breathing was one of the big selling points of that evolution. It was something that had been in the back of my mind since Yvonne gave me a nickname.

She wasn't exactly subtle.

However, I felt like it was time to give all of the evolutionary forms at least a little bit of thought. Displacement could last a long time, I should consider how to make the most of it.

Vaporeon were beefy, and could either hide in water really well or literally turn into water. Then there was the problem of possibly getting drank or flowing away from myself. I didn't really know how that might work, but the thought was enough to make me a little queasy and think about the others.

Jolteon were fast and could throw lightning, but there was something to be said about not looking like I just stuck my tongue in a wall outlet. If I couldn't be human, I was at least going to go with some smooth fur.

Once again, flareon could breathe fire and Yvonne wanted a flareon for her team, but I didn't feel like I should let her dictate my future. In fact, that pushed me _away_ more than anything else.

"What do you want to evolve into?" I asked Sylvie as we let Yvonne break camp. It wasn't like we could do anything to help anyway.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm going to be a sylveon."

Yes, she was going to be a _pretty little sylveon_, if I remembered her words right. I looked her over, thinking about which she actually wanted for herself.

Espeon were psychics, so that was cool. The only issue was: How many and how powerful of psychic abilities did each psychic get? The only thing I could remember in any of the Pokédex entries for espeon were that they could predict how the weather was going to change. That might be kind of a letdown if that was all they got.

Umbreon… did either myself or Sylvie feel like an umbreon? I didn't think I was nearly edgy enough to pull off a dark typing. Then again, they did evolve through happiness, so I might've been completely off the mark.

"Can I say something without you yelling at me again?"

Sylvie glanced at me, then went back to watching Yvonne. "Depends on what you're going to ask."

Leafeon didn't need to eat. As far as I knew, they lived off of sunlight. …That was about it. What could I say? As a creature, leafeon bored me.

As far as glaceon went, Sylvie definitely wasn't cold to people. Straightforward and sometimes a bit snarky, but not exactly short. Though, it might help her temper to chill out. …I hoped that wasn't an indication that I secretly wanted to be a glaceon. I was already making way too many less-than-tepid puns, and I could only imagine it getting worse if I really did take the icy plunge. That would not be cool.

"I know you don't want to be a sylveon." I figured that butting heads was the best way to get through to her. True to form, Sylvie dug her paws in and her ears laid back.

"It's what Yvonne wants for the team. She's the trainer, she gets to decide these things–"

I interrupted there, it was too obvious that Sylvie didn't even believe what she was saying. "_–That_ sounds like a complete load."

Her muzzle scrunched. "I'm happy when I'm making Yvonne happy, and evolving into a sylveon will make Yvonne happy!" She hadn't quite gotten to shouting again, but she certainly had enough stubborn force in her words.

Which left sylveon. They were pastel-colored, and probably around thirty percent of that being pink. …But, try as I might, that was the only downside I could come up with. They were the dragon-slayer type, could suck the vitality out of their enemies with a kiss like a vampiric Care Bear, and possibly most important of all: The ribbon-feeler-tentacle-things. Those were prehensile. I wasn't certain on how much they could lift, but I knew they could be moved around and that they supported their own weight. I wouldn't have to eat my meals off the ground anymore!

_Sold._

After that, the question was only how to enact my master plan.

* * *

-Author's Note

Don't let Fireball's apathy towards leafeon deter all of you grass fans. Those little plant-foxes are great.

Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze may, or may not, have been my favorite Batman villain.


	9. Chapter 9

I didn't actually have a master plan. Yet.

We picked our way up the bluffs of western Kalos. I would've said that we climbed, but the path we were on was barely a slope, much less a cliff. And, from what I remembered, we were traveling in the opposite direction as the games had the player go. Speaking of which, did Yvonne have any badges? Or a bike? Or anything like what could've been expected from the games, themselves?

I was pretty sure all of those answers were the ole negatory. Something I was sure of was that she didn't have any other pokémon on her team. Sylvie reiterated that Yvonne was an eevee specialist, and wouldn't be picking up any other species. Even for simple travel.

I brought my attention to her. She was pacing along between Sylvie and myself, looking at something written down in a book-style notepad. It was one of the only times I had seen her expression looking anything but overenthusiastic. Which was probably closer to the real Yvonne, because I was pretty sure that she was a crafty one.

The ditzy and excitable persona? She was definitely faking it. There were too many coincidences for that to be true, such as her keeping me out of all the battles yesterday. If she wasn't trying to get me evolved into a flareon before I started leveling and missing out on flareon moves, or whatever the realistic equivalent would be, I didn't know what she was doing. The whole firestone-roll incident wasn't even worth giving a second thought to her intentions.

That was my opponent. The person who I had to outwit in order to choose my own destiny!

…Okay. That was who I had to outwit in order to get a hand-analogue back.

Yvonne didn't want me to be a sylveon, but I had taken quite the shine to the idea. I just had to convince her that I would make the better fairy. No problem for someone as charming and creative as I was.

Probably.

We passed through a small town built into the bluffs, but I was too busy concocting to notice much of anything. Master plans don't write themselves, after all.

It was around a rough pathway and a collection of rocky spires that an idea came to me. Fairies were whimsical, I just had to let my whimsy guide me! So, while Yvonne and Sylvie took the easy path, I hopped to the first of the spires.

"Fireball! We were going this way!" The outcroppings led back around to the pathway, Yvonne didn't need to be so worried.

"Yeah, but isn't this more fun?" To prove the point, I leapt for the next spire.

Sylvie looked my way. "What are you doing, Wildling?"

I shouted with my next hop. "Showing how playful and capricious I can be!"

"You're going to fall."

"Oh, I'm being careful." I spoke flippantly, even though I thought I was watching my step. More-or-less. The sides of the rocky spires I was hopping around on weren't too steep. So, even if I did miss a jump, I would probably just roll down the slopes between them. Looking at the canyon floor further down, I didn't think I was in any danger of actually falling into that.

"Really, Fireball, come over this way!" Yvonne again.

"You worry too-Ooo!" My hind legs slipped on the landing and I clawed at the ledge to clamber up. I heard both of them shout and took a glance. Yvonne was near the gap that separated us, leaning over and holding an arm with a ball outstretched.

I had barely a second, then my paws gave up their grip and I tumbled down the slope of the outcroppings.

So, I hadn't been right about being fine. At least I could say that I was correct when I had guessed that I would only roll a few feet to where the spires connected. I came to a stop on my side and decided to let the dizziness settle, since I didn't fancy another tumble.

It looked like Sylvie sighed, then spoke up first. "I won't say I told you so." I almost got to smile in appreciation. "But I'm thinking it really loudly."

"_Thanks_, Sylvie. You're a gem."

Yvonne had been frozen in the pose she had taken after her initial scream, but my voice broke her out of it. "Fireball! Stay there, I-" She quickly looked back and forth among the spires and the ledge they were on. "-The recall function can't reach you from here, but I'm going to get over to you."

I looked to where I had fallen from. "I think I can climb back up from here."

Which went ignored by Yvonne. "Sylvie, stay here and make sure he doesn't go anywhere."

I couldn't hear her, but, from the confused ear tilt, I could only imagine that Sylvie asked how she was supposed to do that. However, Yvonne was already darting off up the pathway.

Crossing her forelegs, Sylvie lay herself down on the edge of the gorge. "Are you going to be a good wildling and stay put?"

My ears turning back probably told her that I could do without the condescension.

She sighed off to the side. "There's no reason for you to get hurt when you don't need to, right?"

I pointedly turned to the slope I had slid down and sized it up. It probably was too steep for me to claw my way up.

"Hey, think it through. Do you really believe you can get back up that?"

Instead of answering, I asked another question. "Where did Yvonne go?"

Sylvie lifted her head and looked back to the south. "Looks like she just made the first jump on her way out to you." There was a meaningful pause for a second where Sylvie turned back to me. "You really worried her. I'm not _exactly_ taking her side on this, but… if you had been a flareon, you probably wouldn't have fell short of any of those jumps."

I decided to just lay my cards on the table. "I don't want to be a flareon. How about we trade?" It looked like I had Sylvie's attention, if not her enthusiasm. "Yvonne just wants a sylveon and a flareon on her team, right? Is there a reason one of us has to be one and the other, the other?"

Sylvie had a couple of false starts to her reply, and she glanced to the south more than once. "She is… our trainer? I'm sure she has a reason for choosing each evolution, like physical or special capabilities and natural aptitude." Which had started with little confidence, but eventually built back up to Sylvie's normal surety.

"Almost there! Just sit tight!" Yvonne didn't sound very close, but that could've been the canyon playing tricks on me.

Still, I didn't waste time and broke out the big guns. "Does that matter more than what you or I want to be for the rest of our lives? Are we just inherently less important than Yvonne?" I admit that I was being manipulative, but that didn't mean I was being deceitful, too.

We were both quiet until Yvonne appeared on one of the spires above me. She was knelt over the edge with her hands cupped around her eyes, but, on seeing me, she darted one of them back to my pokéball and recalled me up to her.


	10. Chapter 10

After the rescue, I felt much worse about what I put Yvonne through. She had two stances that she switched between for the entire way back to the main pathway. Either she was looking rigidly forward and slightly up, or she held her hands beside her face like horse blinders to check the next jump she needed to make. She had to be terrified of heights.

So, I was left in the ball for a good hour or two. I couldn't really blame her at the beginning of it. However, as time wore on, I grew restless. I had already figured out the _punishment_, if you could call it that, and why she didn't want me to do that again.

"~Forty-two bottles of _vee_ on the wall. Forty-two bottles of _vee_…~" I had been reduced to singing the multiversal anthem of boredom.

I hadn't even noticed they had stopped until I was let out beside a road sign and set of metal steps. The rest of the area was mostly uneven dirt path with a small patch of overgrown weeds. The sun was getting towards midafternoon.

I gasped. "Oh, fresh air and actually being able to sense things normally!"

Sitting on one of the rocks off the main trail, Yvonne spoke. "Now, I don't like being the bad guy and having to keep you put away like that, but I hope you understand why I did it. You just need to think things through more, Fireball."

The feeling of my ears lowering didn't escape me while my gaze dropped. My getting stuck hadn't been a _complete_ lack of forethought on my part. I just slipped… I looked up, and Yvonne was tensed. Her eyebrows knitted and I could hear the beginnings of one of her _oh-my-gosh-a-cute-thing-in-distress-I-have-to-make-it-better_ squeals. I could probably push her over the edge and get her to take back what she said, if I turned on the charm.

But, maybe she was right. What would I get out of that beyond avoiding a problem that I might have?

I sighed. "Yeah. I-I'll try to work on that."

A much more reserved smile crossed Yvonne's face and she swung her bag around to go through it. "Alright. Now, I think it's time for lunch, right guys?"

The menu for the afternoon was what looked remarkably like a quiche. It, unfortunately, didn't have any meat, but still looked good. A lot better than I had thought adventure food would be. I had always imagined people on the road ate more _trail-mix-y_ things, unless they stopped at restaurants.

Yvonne had just set everyone's portions down when Sylvie took a bite of her food, then spoke up in a casual tone. She had a puff dessert just to the side of her meal, as well. "I need you to stay calm and act like nothing special is happening."

I paused, not sure why I needed to stay calm, but did eventually answer her. "Am I about to explode, or something?" Was there a giant pokémon behind me? Yvonne wasn't acting like that was the case. She was just glancing up at us occasionally, then going back to her own meal.

Sylvie gave me an exaggerated shrug. "Or something. Yvonne mostly understands me through tone. I thought about your deal, and… I'm in. I need your water bowl, though."

That was great! Not the person I was originally trying to get on my side, but my brilliant plan was nothing if not flexible. However, that still wasn't able to distract me from the out of place comment. "Why my water?"

"Yvonne spiked it. She crushed the firestone up while you were in your ball, then sprinkled it into your bowl while she was letting the _flamiche_ cool." I knew Yvonne was going to try again! Dang it, I thought she would try hiding it in the food a second time. After all, who would guess the same place twice? "The problem is: She's watching you. I can't just drink your water in front of her."

I hummed. "What if we jumped around each other, so she loses track of who is who?"

All that got me was a level look. "We've lived together for years. Yvonne knows how to tell me from some wilder."

I cocked my head. "Not wild_ling_, anymore?" Not that I was complaining, the way she said _wildling_ sounded like she was calling me a kid.

There was a beat of silence that was filled by Yvonne. "Sorry if the food is a bit dry. Still kind of a new recipe for me. Got _plenty_ to drink, though." After hearing what Sylvie said, Yvonne was truly shameless. Still, I had to give her props for sheer audacity.

Sylvie looked back to me. "You graduated. Still, I think you need to distract her."

I took a small bite. "Alright. How can I do that and make sure it won't draw attention to you by accident?"

"That, you'll have to figure out on your own. She's almost always ready to dote on you, just go be cute. You'll need practice for it anyway, if you're really going to be a sylveon." After that, Sylvie gave me a look that said it was okay to trade our positions in the team, but _only_ trade positions.

So, cute? I could do cute…

My mind was blanking. What were some of the things that I did over the past couple of days that set Yvonne off?

* * *

-Author's Note

_Flamiche_ is a type of puff pastry often made around the real world France/Belgium border. It's a lot like a quiche, but tends to only have vegetables along with cheese or cream.


	11. Chapter 11

Cat memes.

I wasn't _particularly_ proud of myself, but I got the job done. When just the baby-doll eyes failed, I acted out as many cat memes as I could remember when only having access to Yvonne's closed bag, the lunch supplies she had used to cook, and the mile marker sign. Like I said, not my finest moment.

However, it didn't take too long before Sylvie was sure enough that our trainer's attention was solely on me. I didn't risk looking her way until Yvonne and I both couldn't help but notice the growing light show.

Yvonne gasped, then an open mouthed look of elation crossed her face. Nothing could be seen of Sylvie, I hoped we weren't about to shatter her dreams too hard. It had to be done, though. Neither of us would've been happy.

I kept telling myself that when Sylvie's light died down and she took a recognizable shape, because Yvonne didn't miss what was happening. However, it must've been too late by then. She just stood there, one leg a half-step forward and arms raised like she was thinking about reaching out and physically shaking Sylvie out of the evolution. Her face was the worst part, though. It was the most pure form of uncomprehending betrayal I had ever seen.

"…Sylvie?"

Her orange-furred ears tilted to us, then she turned her whole body and sat down. Yvonne darted her eyes across the new flareon in what had to have been an attempt to figure out how the evolution happened. "Yeah, it's me." Sylvie's voice was a bit deeper, but that must've came with the bigger vocal chords.

"Y- How-" Yvonne finally looked down to my empty bowl of water. That was when she took in a long breath through her nose, then put on the angriest face I've seen from her as she walked to Sylvie and knelt down on her knees. "Okay, missy. You have some explaining to do. Did you know that Fireball's water had a firestone in it?"

"We did, Yvonne." Sylvie was keeping it calm and steady, though.

The scowl was broken by a look of shock. "And, you still took it from him… Why?!" Putting a few fingers to her forehead, Yvonne rethought that question. "I mean, was he bragging about how he was going to evolve before you, or making fun of you for having trouble with your own evolution?"

I tried defending myself by saying that I would never do that, but they had ears only for each other, at the moment. Sylvie answered, "No, I didn't take it out of spite, and he didn't do anything like that."

"Then…" There were no more words from Yvonne for a time, just her touching a tuft of the poofy neck fur in disbelief. "What about the team's sylveon? You've known I wanted to start with a fire and fairy duo for years…"

The hurt in her voice was beaten into submission by the level look Sylvie gave her. She motioned her muzzle at the untouched cupcake from her meal and then to me.

Yvonne followed the gaze, but, apparently, not the intention. "But your names. I guess Sylvie could be a common enough girl name that it could go with any type, but Fireball could only ever be a name for a fire type. It just wouldn't make sense-"

I took that moment to walk right up to them and pull out my best Sylvie impression. No, I didn't give them a deadpan stare. I shoved my face down onto the poképuff, stuffing it all into my mouth at once. "Waf' me."

Sylvie must've recognized the imitation, since she turned her head away in shame.

"Yeh, dif iff wha' I faw f'om 'ou." I finished chewing in time to question what I was seeing. Was it a trick of the light that made Sylvie's cheek fur look red, or was that really how mammal-like pokémon blushed?

"Did you know she was going to do that?" Our trainer had finally found some words for me. I nodded, but was barely able to get through the motion before she put it together herself. "You were in on it! You didn't want to be a flareon, either?"

It was around then that Sylvie rubbed against Yvonne's side. I imagined it was in an effort to put all the bad blood behind us, and it seemed to work. Our trainer took a moment, then wrapped her arms around Sylvie's neck to hold her tight. "I'm sorry for stabbing you in the back like that, Yvonne. I should've tried telling you sooner."

Yvonne mumbled something into Sylvie's collar fluff, but I couldn't hear it clearly. Then there was a louder sniff and she looked over Sylvie's shoulder to me. "Hey, get in here. The way I understand it is that you were part of this, too."

I tried to protest interrupting their moment, but Sylvie cut me off. "She's right. Hug it out already, Wilder." She jerked her head their way, and I found myself walking over.

Dang it, I was trying to be selfish back when I first wanted to take the sylveon evolution for my own. Why'd these two have to make me develop a soft spot for them?

Either way, we had our group hug that was made warm by the magic of friendship and Sylvie's new high body temperature.


	12. Chapter 12

Something else about Sylvie: She was really big after the evolution.

I knew eevee were small, but going from, like, one foot at the shoulder to around three was a massive change. She seemed to be enjoying some part of the evolution as well, since there had been a smile on her face the whole time we were packing up the lunch supplies– Yvonne packing up the lunch supplies, rather. Sylvie and I _supervised_, though.

Still, I asked about it. "So, I take it flareon was your top choice of what to evolve into?"

She hummed for a second. "No, actually. I didn't really have one, just…" A shrug. "Anything but sylveon. No offense."

Some taken. I could understand why, though, so it was alright. I nodded.

"I'm warming up to this, though." I looked up to her, and Sylvie took a deep breath and let it out, picked up and then set down each front paw, and finally worked her jaw. "I think I'm going to like it. Now we just have to get you in shape."

That was true, and the evolution was based on affection. I wasn't sure if it was my affection towards Yvonne, or Yvonne's affection for me, though. Well, both were solved through cupcakes, right? "Ah, yes. In that case-" I shouted over towards Yvonne. "Puff me, my good lady!"

…

Wow, that sounded way dirtier than I thought the world would let me get away with. Granted, I wasn't thinking anything lewd at the time, but I tried whispering it again to see if it was a fluke. "_Vee_ me, my-" I grunted, it seemed intention was part of what triggered the censors. That was probably fair, because a dirty enough mind could make a double entendre out of anything.

"Be patient, Fireball. I can only fold this blanket up so fast. We'll be on the road in a minute."

Sylvie chimed in. "Almost. She does well, in context."

"So, does this mean I'll get to _eev_ the random pokémon today, too?" Oh, come on, what was wrong with the word _fight_?

Sylvie grunted. "If you were asking if you get to battle today, maybe. It isn't up to me, though. I think Yvonne will want to make sure you're prettied up and having fun before doing any serious training. You know, so you have a better chance of getting that evolution."

"A better chance?"

"Yeah, the sylveon evolution is kind of finicky and relies on how you feel towards your trainer more than most others." That answered that unasked question. "Some pokémon do evolve directly through happiness, but that's more of a general sense of fulfillment rather than affection directed at a specific person. Oh, sorry, did you know all of this already? I'm not sure how wilds live."

Seeing Sylvie fluster herself was new. Did that mean she was passionate about what she knew? "No, I didn't know all of it. I knew of the species' existence, but I only had a vague idea of how to actually get the evolution."

By then, Yvonne had finished putting her things away and had picked out a big ball of yarn.

She hadn't struck me as the knitting type.

"You ready?" She continued to not strike me as the knitting type when she pulled a nineties-kid and hacky-sacked the yarn to me. I had been very much not-ready, and barely even reacted before the ball hit the ground.

"This is what she wants you to do, Wilder." Sylvie took that opportunity to pick it up and bat it back Yvonne's way with the side of her muzzle. It sailed high, but Yvonne caught it on her own forehead and let it roll down to a knee that kicked up to send it back our way.

With a bit more heads up, I gave it another go. The yarn flew off behind me and I heard Sylvie as I turned. "I got it." She went to bounce it off the top of her head, but… I blinked, unsure of what I seen. "I don't got it? How did I miss?"

Sylvie looked around, and I had to as well. There was no ball of yarn on the ground and it hadn't bounced off the cliff. I checked Yvonne, and she was just as dumbfounded. "Sylvie? It…" Humming, I decided it was best to just say it. "It looked like it went into your head fluff."

"What? That's ridiculous." She shook her head around, though. "I don't feel anything up there." It took significant pawing at the tuft of long fur to dislodge the yarn ball.

We all stood there for a few moments before Yvonne got us back into playing around. It was probably for the best. Too much thinking could just lead to more questions than answers.

That didn't stop us from losing more yarn balls in Sylvie's neck and tail fur, though.


	13. Chapter 13

Once we all had enough goofing off, we were back on the road to… wherever we were going. Yvonne had never shared that with me. The path up the mountains took us to the mouth of a cave, where our trainer went over a bit of what to expect.

"The wild pokémon here should be fairly sparse this time of year. So, that means we need to make every encounter count, Fireball." Yvonne held up a finger. "But, Sylvie, we'll need you to keep anything too dangerous away. That should give you enough to get used to the new body with, and let Fireball ease into being a member of the team. Okay guys?"

I nodded along with Sylvie's _yeah_.

We all took the momentous first step into the cave as one.

The ceiling descended upon us, and my eyes widened in horror.

What I had thought was the spotty, purple and dark blue _not_-ceiling came flapping at us, and in seconds we were covered head to toe in nightmares.

An indeterminate amount of time and fury later, we all walked out of another cave entrance. Still covered in leathery wings and fangs, but the light of the evening sun destroyed their will to cling to us and the remaining ones flapped their way back inside the hell-mountain.

Casually batting a few of the remainders out of her long hair, Yvonne spoke, "Whew, that wasn't so bad! Usually, there's so many more zubat." _Yvonne… Yvonne, I silently wish you to never speak their name again._ I couldn't speak. I had barely been able to follow directions and fight/battle. "Probably not the best time to evolve into a fairy type, on second thought. But, congratulations anyway, Fireball!"

My legs were shaking, my tail was shaking, my ears were laid back, and something on my head and neck was _writhing_. "Hey, Wilder, you okay?" Sylvie was looking at me on eye-level. That part was weird. She was much bigger before the cave, before… _No! Don't think about it._

Finally noticing I was in the sunlight once more, I coughed to regain my composure and it sent me into a full body shiver. That did, at least, give me control of my legs and whatever was going on around my head.

The first thing I noticed was my muzzle. It wasn't brown anymore, instead I saw white hairs at the bottom of my vision. There was a tuft of two-toned fur that fanned out at my neck, then the white coat ran down to each pink paw and a goose-feather shaped tail.

The things that I had been looking forward to most had stopped wriggling against me when I calmed, but I wasn't sure how to consciously move them. My feeler-tentacles had wrapped themselves along one of my legs, my midsection, and both ears.

So, yeah… Evolution… _Glad_ I got to experience that, I was sure I would remember it fondly in therapy. "I can't feel them." Sylvie looked at me in confusion, or maybe worry. "My antennae-tendrils. I don't know how to move them and two of them are uncomfortably squeezing my ears."

"I could tell you to relax-" That has never helped anyone to calm down! "But that doesn't actually help people relax." _Touché._ "I would suggest that you get Yvonne to hold onto one of your ribbons. Sylveon are supposed to be able to feel their trainer's emotions when they hold onto them."

"I understand the general stuff. But, how do you know all these obscure things?" Still, I walked up to Yvonne. She seemed to be tending to a couple of bite marks from things that would not be named.

"I pick it up from when she researches all she can about the eeveelution family. I may not be able to become any of the others now, but it's still interesting, don't you think?"

She had a point there. I wasn't even from their universe and I had been interested enough to collect plush toys in their likeness. Yvonne was a real jewel and knelt down when I made distressed-sylveon-noises at her. "What's wrong, Fireball? Is the poison type a bit hard to be around with your own new typing?" She petted along my shoulder and I angled the ribbon– I guessed that I should follow Sylvie's lead there– which had curled itself around my belly towards her hand.

And, as soon as it touched her, the thing uncoiled from me and wrapped around her wrist like one of those old plastic toys that stood straight until you struck it against something and it twisted itself around whatever you hit. That didn't matter too much in the grand scheme of things, because I felt a jolt of surprise from along the ribbon, followed by about an even mix of humor and unease. Yvonne laughed unsteadily to match and spoke. "Oh, that's the problem." She picked a bit at the ribbon, but it just latched onto the other hand. I backed up in an effort to help her, but I swore that my own ribbon was fighting me.

We got disentangled and the loose ribbon quickly slapped itself around my neck. On a side note, at least I wouldn't be strangling anyone with them.

My trainer hummed, then dug into her bag. "Alright, I think you're just tense. Let's see if I can fix that." She had retrieved her weapon of choice, a large bristled brush, and, at great ribbon-feeler risk to herself, dove at me.


	14. Chapter 14

Yvonne was a champion. She made it out of the impromptu grooming session with minimal groping. And, it wasn't even inappropriate groping either! She managed to corral almost all of the ribbons onto her arms, and the only one that strayed ended up curled around the top half of her face.

At least I hadn't turned myself into a hentai monster.

Small blessings, yeah?

It took about half an hour, what with how much Yvonne had to fight the ribbons to actually brush me. However, it paid off, and I was eternally thankful to her. I left with sensation of my own in the ribbons and I was able to keep them from grabbing onto other people, as well as not clinging so tightly to myself.

After that, we walked a little way before finding a nice spot in the grassy field to make camp. With our dinner cooked, they dug in. As for me? I readied myself. It was time to reap the benefits of my genius! It was only then that I noticed the evening's meal would not be best held in a ribbon appendage, as it looked like cauliflower covered in some kind of sauce and fried. It would just make a mess of my fur, so, I contented my delayed reward by just stuffing my muzzle into the bowl like Sylvie.

It still tasted good… but not as good as what I was sure feeding myself like a civilized person once again would be.

I expected the sleeping arrangements would've changed with mine and Sylvie's increased size, but they didn't. Yvonne and Sylvie were apparently like an old married couple who were set in their ways, the only difference being that I couldn't see Yvonne's head at all with Sylvie curled around it. As for me? Apparently I was just a bigger hug pillow, and, with my ribbons brushing against her, I could tell Yvonne loved every minute of the weird setup.

However, I hadn't even noticed I had fallen asleep, until I woke. Where did the snoring go? As if to answer my question, Yvonne ripped off a thunderous inhale. Yep, I had been pretty sure _that_ wouldn't clear itself up in one night. I must've fallen asleep before them, and it showed in how much energy I felt that I had.

The day was already looking good. I wiggled out from the tangled mess of limbs that Yvonne called a comfortable sleeping position, and left the tent to have a look around. Just up the hill from our campsite was an overlook that gave a view of a stately mansion on a large lake that sparkled like crystals in the morning light.

It looked like there was even someone standing by an easel near the shores, painting a landscape of the whole place. I could see why they were, and I wouldn't mind a look at what they had on the canvas.

However, the lake's shoreline was pretty far down the hill and across a small field. There was no way to know when Sylvie and Yvonne would wake up, either. I sighed. Yeah, that was a bad idea. I wouldn't want to worry them again.

The tent was still in sight, though, so I stayed at the hilltop and enjoyed the view for a while.

My brilliant forethought paid off when I heard some shouting from the campsite. It was Yvonne. "Fireball! Fireball, where did you go?" Yeah, I could totally be responsible and think ahead.

"Up here!" Knowing Yvonne would start breakfast soon, I headed back down to her because I had assistance I could lend. My cooking experience mainly extended to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, instant noodles, and microwavable frozen foods, but I could always just pick things up and give them to her.

The view was nice, but I hadn't been completely idle up on the hill. I was pretty sure I had the hang of wrapping my ribbons around something. On purpose.

"Oh, hey. Did something catch your interest and lead you out of camp?"

I shook my head and decided not to try telling Yvonne about the view. It was the only other way to go from the cave, and I thought it would be a nice surprise. The same went for Sylvie when she showed her face a few minutes later. She still looked half asleep as she drug her paws to the campfire and laid herself down.

"Sylvie, if you would be a dear?" Yvonne motioned to the dead fire pit from the previous night. For a moment, I thought Sylvie was asleep again, but she yawned and seemed to take great effort into opening her eyes a crack. A second breath was drawn in, but this one's exhale came with a few embers.

If _I_ was a flareon and took that much build up to puff a little bit of flame, I think I would want to rest for a week. Just to be sure I wasn't about to keel over from exhaustion. The only problem with that explanation was that, the day before, Sylvie was fine after about half an hour of being awake.

Yvonne was busy working up a squeal. "My flareon's first lighting of our campfire! I'm a real eeveelution trainer, now!"

Ah. Well, if she loved that, then she was sure to appreciate what I had in mind, too. While she was daydreaming, I went to her bag and nosed the flap open. There was… a _lot_ of things in that little messenger pack. General first aid supplies, a picnic blanket, trainer essentials like pokéballs and potions, a grooming kit, the list went on. Yvonne must've been the daughter of a time/space-magician and a Tetris grandmaster to fit all the things I saw into such a tiny bag!

I eventually spotted the food containers and a frying pan, and hefted the metal cookware. It took some significant ribbon strength to lift it. Sure, I could've bit the handle and offered it to Yvonne, but that would've defeated the purpose!

She either chose that time to return to the here and now, or she heard my straining. "I know. You're ready for breakfast, but it'll be a few minutes. What _do_ you want for breakfast, though?"

I hummed. That wasn't a joke she was going to do every day, was it? Instead of answering verbally, I slipped a ribbon into the bag again and picked up a random container to offer her.

"Pan-gougeres? I loved these as a kid." She turned the container over, and creased her brow. "I guess I forgot these were even in there."

I grinned widely in an effort to show her I was on board with cooking. Her and Sylvie may have had years of communication experience together, but I knew how humans thought. I ignored the fact that they weren't _my_ world's humans.

It got me a neck scratch, and Yvonne moved her bag closer to herself. "I'll get to work on this right away." She got the head shakes and nods, but, apparently, there was no shortcut to her understanding everything I tried to tell her. I grabbed at her arm, and her slight confusion was clear. "I can practically taste the ch- huh?"

I bit the bag and pulled it away from her about a foot. Digging through the food section again, I made a show of picking up a different container and offering it with a grin. "Let's make something together."

"You changed your mind and want fries now?" My smile dropped with an annoyed exhale. Sylvie didn't just make it look easy, I could do it too.

So, what was I working with? My ribbons held a container of potatoes, there was other food, and some cooking utensils in the bag. To make fries out of that, she'd need a knife. Spotting one, I wrapped the sheath in a ribbon and presented it to her.

"Be careful! That's sharp, and-" That was about when I had moved it to her. "-And, yes, it would probably be best if I held onto that."

Really, Yvonne? I wanted to say that she couldn't have misinterpreted my look of frustration, but I decided not to chance it. It was time for drastic measures.

Yes, I felt I had to break out the charades.

"I!" Closing one eyelid, I pointed all of my ribbons at my open one. "Want!" Sitting down and letting my ribbons sink out of the way, I hit her with my best Baby-Doll Eyes. "To help!" Then, wrapped her wrists and moved her hands in vague vegetable chopping motions. She was both confused and amused by me. "You!" I stepped backwards, and, that time, I pointed at her with a foreleg and a couple ribbons followed suit. "Cook!" By then, my annoyance had built to where I swung my ribbons at the frying pan, and I ended with a hard stare at the piece of steel.

* * *

-Author's Note

I don't actually know if you can cook gougeres properly in a frying pan, but Yvonne's parents were able to do it well enough that it stuck with mini-Yvonne.


	15. Chapter 15

"Who's burning cheese?" It seemed Sylvie had returned to us waking-folk when Yvonne and I were almost done with the food.

I felt I should stick up for our breakfast creation when our trainer couldn't. "It's not burning, it just started smelling like this when we put in the last spices." The possibility that we were burning those last spices was not lost on me, but I had faith in Yvonne's cooking. "We just need to get you some coffee in the next town, so you aren't as grumpy in the morning."

Not denying it, Sylvie grunted. "Isn't that a drink for old humans?"

"I'm sure enough caffeine can substitute as fuel for the mind of any creature." My sage wisdom seemed to be appreciated that morning, and Sylvie just watched us finish up breakfast.

We ended up having a little bit of both of what I had picked out from Yvonne's bag. She didn't want to let the cheese biscuits go back into the pack untouched, and I didn't want to figure out how to tell her to only cook what she wanted after getting her to let me help by using the potatoes. I thought it turned out well enough, even if my nose disagreed somewhat.

After that, we packed up and headed for the valley lake that I had seen earlier. It was still a nice scene in the late morning light, but neither of my traveling companions were as impressed by it as I had been. Maybe they didn't appreciate old mountain lochs like I did? We had apparently missed the painter, too. Them and their easel were both gone.

A sour looked crossed my face. If that was my reward for not coming down for a closer look earlier, then being thoughtful sucked.

We walked like that for around an hour before Yvonne spoke up. "Cheer up, Fireball. Today is the day that our real pokémon journey begins!" I couldn't help but wonder what she meant. I had been with them for a few days already, and she and Sylvie had been on the road for who-knew-how-long before that.

"It's only _just_ starting?" I made a show of looking around the multicolored field of flowers, along the shore, the small cabin with a fence in the distance, and even at the plain wooden bridge further away.

Sylvie helpfully provided her two cents. "She'll miss the sarcasm."

With a giggle, Yvonne looked ahead. "Yep! We're going to be a true eeveelution team." Did that mean we were going to hunt down some trainers to battle? Work on signature moves for mine and Sylvie's species? My last thought was more of a long shot, but did she mean we were going to hit a gym? I couldn't remember if there was one of those in the area of Kalos we were in, but she would know the gym circuit better.

Twenty minutes later, I found out that I was completely wrong. "Fine. We'll raise Sylvie for a while." I nearly asked Yvonne if she had lost her damn mind. Was she really pawning Sylvie off on someone else to train with? I liked training and walking around with her! However, something tickled at the back of my mind and kept me from making an outburst immediately. "We can raise two of your pokémon. Would you like us to raise another?"

My eyes widened in realization, and I swore everything slowed to a crawl when Yvonne spoke. "Yes. Fie, Yure, Bahl. Too." I knew where we were, from the games, after that! A harsh gasp went through my nose, my ribbons clenched around my ears and chest, all at the culmination of what my trainer had been planning!

Yvonne didn't want to go around to the gyms and take their badges by force, fight a crime syndicate solo, or take over the region by becoming the champion. She just wanted me to make a horde of eevee for her to sleep under!

And, while my intimate life hadn't been the stuff of legends, I did fine for myself! With people from my dimension! Sylvie was cute, sure, but in the way all of the eevee evolutions were: Weaponized fuzzy adorability.

We were ushered outside to the fenced area while I was coming to terms with Yvonne's latest scheme. Behind the cottage was too big to be called a backyard, but not quite large enough to be a ranch. They had a decorative pond that was squared off with lumber, a large pine tree, and finally some colorful tires whose purpose I could only guess at. Other than that, there were a few shrubs and boulders around, and– And I realized that they were probably intended to be _privacy_ shrubs, and _privacy_ boulders! My shoulders shuddered, and my ribbons writhed.

Well, our trainer was in for some tough luck, because I knew a level-headed and straightforward flareon who certainly wouldn't allow herself to be pushed into something she didn't want again. "So, are you ready to make this egg?"

I felt my ribbons coil tighter around myself. What was I even supposed to say to that? Think! How did other transformed-displaced handle the situation I found myself in?

_Woo! YODO xenophilia!_

Dang it, none of those people were going to be helpful!

"H-How did you even say that?!" I squawked. The censorship was all I could focus on.

An orange ear tilted downwards. "With my mouth?"

"No, I mean, how did you imply _syl_. _Sylv-ee_!" Even lowering my voice so just Sylvie heard, I couldn't mention sex. Still couldn't curse, either. Both caused her to grunt and lay her ears back.

"Please. Don't make those sounds." Sylvie recovered with a shake of her head. "But, I thought you were interested in having a few kits as well?" She even said it so plainly that I almost thought it was a reasonable comment for a second!

I took an involuntary step backwards. "When did I say anything like that?"

"Well, you never sounded like you were against it whenever Yvonne and I mentioned having a team of eeveelutions."

Yvonne! Right! It might've been a low blow, but I desperately grabbed onto that topic. "And you aren't doing this just to make her happy, right?"

"Of course not." A slow smile spread across Sylvie's muzzle. "I'm eight years old, I've been wanting kits of my own for a _long_ time now."

Once again, my brain latched onto the least important part of a sentence. "I thought you said you were seven?"

She stepped towards me, and the smile turned sinister. "I lied."


	16. Chapter 16

I had calmed down significantly over the past few hours. Mostly because, no matter her outbursts or if emotions ran high, Sylvie had proven time and again that she was a thoughtful and rational person.

Also, I used my ribbons to climb the tree and she couldn't reach me.

"You know, you'll have to come down eventually." We would see about that! I had plenty of the necessities up on my branch. Air… sunlight?

Dang it! I regretted not choosing leafeon!

…But, Sylvie was right. I couldn't stay in the tree forever. She was a close-acquaintance/friend who wanted to jump a few dozen levels and go straight to baby-mama, but I had to convince her to keep talking to me once I climbed down. Instead of chasing me around like earlier.

"Okay, you win." I paused for a second to give the rest of what I had to say more impact. "This round! I _will_ have to come down sometime."

The satisfied smirk that she had turned into a look of intrigue. "But?"

"But not before you talk to the person who would be the father of your children for more than five seconds, about having said children." Maybe I was old fashioned, but I had always thought having kids with someone was a sixth, _maybe_ fifth, date kind of activity.

"Alright. I want them. Yvonne wants them. Do you want them?" A solid cock of her head punctuated the last thing she said.

In the most general sense, yes, I did want children at some point in my life. But, even before I met Sylvie and Yvonne, I knew that was something you had to plan out.

"I…" I knew I couldn't give a half-assed answer. Some people had to live the entire rest of their life in their displaced world. I held out hope that I would be transported back to my old life after the displacement effect was done with me, but there was a very real chance I might not be one of those people. "I'm keeping an open mind to the possibility."

Sylvie wasn't my original species, though. True, she had attractive qualities in how she acted, but she was also a big, fire-breathing, fluff-ball to me.

There was a hum from the ground that caught my attention. "If Yvonne was here, she'd say that it's our job to convince you." Her head dipped to the side flippantly. "Or, you know, she would make you think it was your idea in the first place."

That was perfectly in line with what I knew of her. "But since you're the one that's here?"

"Yeah. That's the thing, isn't it?" She shrugged. "I've already asked you. Do you want to have kits with me?" And the question was still just as unbalancing as it was the first time.

"How about… a date first?" Using a ribbon that wasn't anchoring me, I waved at the trunk of the tree. "I know a place with a great view." Then, I picked my way down to the lowest branch.

"A date? The human custom?" I blinked. She seemed to be implying that pokémon did not do that. Maybe asking for children like she had wasn't just her own bluntness?

I tried to roll with it, and actually squeaked a mildly suggestive joke past the censors. "Well, you know… you may be a fine specimen of flareon, but don't think I'm just going to give it all away cause of that! So, shall we?" On the lowest branch, I offered my ribbons to her.

Her ears shot up as I was talking. "I don't come off as entitled, do I? I try not to be like those pokémon that expect half a dozen guys to fall at their paws because the gender ratio is in their favor."

At the risk of sounding like a pun, Sylvie was the chillest flareon I had ever met. So, that wasn't a real worry. She got close enough for me to wrap in my ribbons and heave up into the tree. With a bit of clawing and scraping against the bark, she made it into my branch and I led her up to the promised view. "A little bit."

My tone was upbeat, but Sylvie still didn't take it completely as a joke and her face fur darkened slightly. "Hey, I thought what I intended was obvious! I did say you were handsome when we first met."

So, she had been sizing me up all the way back then? I wasn't sure how to feel about that. Flattered? Like a prey animal? It was at least one of the two.

Around the middle of the tree, I stopped to lay down across a pair of limbs. "Yeah, I guess I didn't catch that." At least I was still able to speak, even if I was completely falling back on humor to maintain my composure.

Sylvie settled onto a nearby branch. "Do you not want kits of your own?" It still wasn't that, I knew I would want to be a part of my children's lives, displaced or not. I just didn't know if I wanted to start that life in another world and as another species.

That had to be why I was currently sitting in a pine tree, on the proverbial fence. I had never looked forward to the displaced experience, but maybe it didn't have to be all bad?

A few words of… wisdom?– yeah, let's go with wisdom– floated to me from my boss.

Rule 6: Learn something about yourself and grow as a person. …And/or save the world.

I scanned the tranquil Kalos countryside, and there was a distinct lack of world-ending catastrophes. Still, I was fairly certain that crazy old preacher's advice finally came in handy.


	17. Chapter 17

We stayed treed and just chatted for another hour or so before my midsection started aching from the branches. By then, the day care people had set out some food. Most of it was already gone, but Sylvie and I were able to get a couple of apples that were left over, and we caught a couple of other pokémon sparring with each other. Night was upon us before I knew it.

After only a few days, the idea of sleeping outside of a tent was weird. A rather confined space, over completely open air? It was hard to believe that had grown on me. Sylvie seemed to be feeling the same way, as she searched the cabin grounds for a moderately sized rock and curled up on top of it. Or maybe she just missed Yvonne's head.

Either way, I was quite pleased with how the date went. Real talk about ourselves, dinner, and entertainment. It had it all and I was pretty sure she enjoyed the time we spent over the day, too, even if her first reaction had been lukewarm.

Well, it almost had everything. As Sylvie was getting comfortable with Yvonne's replacement, I did my best to calm my nerves and smoothly approach her. I looked into her eyes, she looked in mine. We both knew where the day led us. To see if there was any chemistry between us, and to see if I could even consider continuing my love life while displaced, I cupped her jaw with my ribbons. Our faces pressed together, and…

Her ears shot up in surprise and shock.

So, she hadn't knew where the day led us, apparently. That was my bad. However, barely a heartbeat later, my ribbons told me she warmed up to the idea and returned the smooch.

And, muzzle-kissing. Not the same as human lips at all. Our faces weren't long like a crocodile, but there was a distinct lack of closeness to it. Sylvie was hot, though. In a body-temperature way, and the heat was pleasant. So, maybe I could see myself getting used to that sort of thing?

We left the appropriate first date kiss with no tongue, and I sheepishly untangled my ribbons from around her. They had apparently wrapped themselves about her neck and forelegs while I hadn't noticed. With that, I found that I had lost most of the confidence that let me speak in anything other than jokes and internet memes, so I quietly settled down beside her to sleep.

It took a while, but I did eventually drift off.

I woke up, and it was still dark out. Scratch that, there was darkness with little shafts and specks of bright, shining, light everywhere I could see.

"Sylvie?" No answer. There was slight weight pressing on me from all around. If someone stacked bags of random crap on us while we were asleep, I was going to be mad.

Getting it over with, I pushed myself up to a standing position and dull thuds sounded all around me as the objects rolled off to reveal the midmorning sun. They were brown and almost ball-shaped, with a white jagged pattern that wrapped around them. I gave one an experimental nudge, and it felt like they were filled with something semi-solid.

There was a moan of discomfort from Sylvie, and I looked over to see her eyes covered by her paws. Right, not a morning person. Still, we had… something to deal with. Whatever these things around us were. "Rise and shine, we've got a hilarious prankster out here with us." With a couple ribbons, I pulled on Sylvie's forelegs until she stood herself up.

Had she always been that shade of red? My worries about being dyed, as well, flew out of the window when Sylvie spoke. "Wow. I didn't expect my first litter to be this big!"

"…Come again?" I looked at the objects on the ground once more. Brown and white. Jagged pattern like the fur on the tip of a familiar tail.

She smiled. A bit pleased, but also a bit embarrassed. Her face-fur didn't change color, like it used to. "I've always wanted a big family, and I didn't know if that was going to happen with you after yesterday morning. But- but what we did last night before going to sleep." Her head dipped in a quadrupedal shrug. She didn't manage any more words, but she beamed at me.

…

…

The E-rating!

Even a chaste little kiss like that was too saucy for the world I was in?! So, it flooded me with babies like we were rabbits on a luxury weekend alone? Of all the dirty, underhanded– I didn't even know how to complete that thought!

After staring at Sylvie and the eggs around us for a long time, I eventually managed to lift my jaw again. I could shout. I could deny all of it. I could say that it wasn't at all what I wanted.

Should I, though? It was something that deserved to be thought out.

If I rejected the responsibility outright, I couldn't imagine Sylvie not being hurt.

If I screamed that pregnancy didn't work that way, I was sure the world wouldn't care. Since it obviously _did_ work that way in the world I was in.

If I said that it wasn't what I wanted, that would just be a lie. Sylvie may not have been my ideal partner, we may not have spent as much time getting to know one another as I would've like, and I may not have had any warning that we would be having children soon, but, in the most general sense, I did want kids in my future.

…

Moving up to Sylvie's side, I thought about my wording.

Because another option presented itself to me: I could take what the world gave me and run with it.

I squeezed Sylvie's neck fluff with my ribbons. "Well, I guess I just know how to give my girl what she wants." Besides, all the eggs? They _were_ quite the ego-boost, when I looked at it from a… _potency_ perspective.

We settled in around the pile of future-ankle-biters, and, by noon, we heard one of the daycare workers shout to someone in front of the cabin. "Ah, it's you!" I stepped around to see that it was, indeed, Yvonne. She had been flagged down on a bicycle that I didn't know she owned by the man that had been inspecting the fences. She waved to me and I returned a short one. "We were raising your pokémon, and my goodness, we were so surprised!"

All the time, Yvonne's face grew brighter and brighter. Right up to the point where his demeanor completely turned a one-eighty.

"I don't know what kind of establishment you think we're running here, but the amount of eggs those two are guarding is unnatural." He waved a hand rudely in my direction. "It's worrying the other pokémon and customers, so we have to ask that you to take your pokémon, their eggs, and leave."

It was with a poleaxed expression that Yvonne had a wheelbarrow full of eggs forced upon her. We guided our trainer away from the cabin and down the road.

"We might have a _teensy_ problem." Yvonne had found her voice after a few minutes of staring at what I had expected her to see as a heap of treasure. Her words successfully got our attention. Sure, the world may have blindsided me with the responsibility, but I wasn't going to just knock Sylvie up with like twenty kids and then leave her to it. That would be a real eev move.

Yvonne continued after seeing that we were listening. Her eyes downcast, and I could almost feel the sorrow without even touching her with a ribbon. "The league doesn't allow trainers to keep more than six pokémon with them at a time. Even in egg form."

I looked to Sylvie through the legs of the wheelbarrow. She was already looking at me.

A moment of complete understanding passed between us, and she spoke. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She made a show of presenting her neck fluff.

Way ahead of her, I simply nodded, wrapped up four of the eggs, and stuffed them into her thick fur.

After all, kangaskhan were able to get away with it carrying their young into battle, and the games didn't have a fit about seven pokémon then!

Yeah. Sylvie, Yvonne, and I were going to be just fine.

* * *

-Author's Note

And, here we have the end of this little story. The adventure Fireball, Sylvie, and Yvonne are on isn't over, but I felt like this was a good stopping point for this fic.

So, on this, the most glorious day of tom-foolery, shenanigans, and general hijinks, I bid you good day and hope that you had many hee-hees and ha-has. Or, if you're reading from the future, I still hope you had a good time.


End file.
